Youth in Revolt – I’m betting the book is better…..

p.s. (pre-script): 3 new posts today so keep reading after this one!

Michael Cera is soooooo boring!  I was trying to figure out why i think i liked him and realized his deadpan delivery is ok when matched with the comedy of someone like Jack Black (Year 1, so much funnier than you think) or Jonah Hill (Superbad).  In YIR, however, he is paired with someone equally as boring, himself.  And even though himself had a sleaze stash and tight white pants he was still boring as fuck.  What about the lead chick?  BORING!  Portia Doubleday as Sheeni was pretty, and had some ok moments but she did not pull off the muse character the way she should have.  The way Zooey Deschanel does in 500 Days of Summer, for example.  The best characters in this film were peripheral and so not able to fully express their awesomeness, which sucked because i am talking about Steve Buscemi!  Jean Smart! Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover)! Fred Willard!  Ray Liotta! Justin Long (ok, i just love him because he loves Drew, or has loved…i cannot keep track)!

Sometimes movies play out like one long trailer as to why i should read the book, this was one of those movies.

IBS? BS!

I had not planned on writing about my recent health issues but realized that i have been googling like crazy and maybe my journey could help some other googler out there.

****MEN: In the writing below i refer to my period.  more than once.  BEWARE!****

At the beginning of April i went off my depo shot.  Since then i have experienced some extreme withdrawal symptoms including sore breasts, weird or a lack of periods, and a case of IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), apparently from an massive drop in progesterone which can sometimes happen when you stop birth control.  So what is IBS?  According to my research it’s a bunch of BS (sometimes literally).  No one just has IBS, in my opinion, they have an irritable bowel (bloating, diarrhea, constipation, gas, etc)  CAUSED by something wrong in their body.  As someone once told me “physical symptoms are like your cars engine light, they are a sign to look under the hood and FIX what’s wrong”.  We wouldn’t just patch up our broken engine with duct tape, so why do we tend to just throw a band aid on a problem with our bodies?

I have always been lucky enough to be able to eat and drink whatever i wanted.  Nothing really effected me negatively (except runny eggs, which are gross anyway) and i want that back!!!!  Goddammit!!!!  Olives should be the only thing i don’t eat, not because i can’t, but because no one should, they are disgusting.  Anyway, I am now on a mission to cure my body, and since the body is a miracle regeneration machine i know i can do it.  It’s hard, it’s trial and error, but it’s worth it.

First to look into, Candida.  I believe many of us probably have a candida overgrowth problem, caused by our less than stellar diets.  For me this means taking a daily probiotic (just say no to yogurt, try the pills or drinks of living microorganisms that you keep in your fridge for maximum benefit), and staying away from yeast causing foods, mainly sugar.  For example I have cut out sugar in my coffee and use stevia or agave instead.  I also need to stay away from booze, but that sucks and i haven’t been very proactive on that front…man do i love me some booze!  No one is perfect.

Next, gluten.  The silver lining of having a pissed off gut is that i have never been more aware of my gluten intake.  Even though i tested negative to coeliac disease i most definitely am adversely effected by wheat.  Which is no surprise really, the word gluten comes from the latin for GLUE!  It’s not good to eat GLUE!  The good news is that with everyone and their neighbor seemingly effected to some degree by a wheat sensitivity there in an abundance of information and food alternatives available.   Just had rice pasta last night and it was great!

And then, of course….stress.  If you know me you know i am a stress bucket most of the time.  Anxiety and hypochondria being my two main issues.  In fact, here is a an artist rendering of me on a t-shirt:

For those who cannot read what she’s saying (mom) “Oh god, these tights are too tight, i’m think i’m gonna die”

**In case you are wondering, tights CAN be pants IF you are a super hero.  Shirt from Sharing Machine.**

So, stress…..it’s a hard nut to crack.  You can’t just take some herbs and viola you’re cured.  My job is pretty high stress and i totally take on too much when it comes to my social life (Ange once said “your calendar gives me heart palpitations”).  Also i drink too much coffee.  Basically i think i run my body on cortisol which is the hormone your body produces when you are in fight or flight mode.  Not good.  I have started taking 5-HTP, known by some as the happy pill, as it is supposed to help control mood and anxiety among other things.  The article i reference in the ‘cortisol’ link above also lists sex as beneficial in reducing stress and cortisol production.  So i’ll try to find more of that….whatever……

And how about hormones?  I stated at the beginning that i think my issues were caused by a drop in progesterone.  And since i probably have always run high on cortisol it’s time to get my hormones in check.  After 18 years of birth control (holy god, 18 years!….i am old, but not that old, started BC when i was 12 as had horrendous periods that started when i was 9!) i am well aware my body does not even know how to run normally when it comes to hormones.  So into my smoothies goes MACA, which some say aides in balancing hormones.  Some say it doesn’t…well, let’s give it a try because it cannot hurt.  Speaking of smoothies the one i am drinking right now is AWESOME!  Pomegranate/cherry juice, vanilla protein powder, banana, pineapple, and spinach…..yumtastic!

Last but not least, for the pure benefit of relieving symptoms i am taking Iberogast, which is basically a plant derived, healthy alternative to pepto….as nothing that color should ever go in your body.  On your body ok, in your body, gross.

Phew….it’s a lot, and i am not even getting into my journey into raw food and enzymes!  Those are more for long term health and well being and i’m sure i’ll post about that soon enough.

Now i raise my smoothie cup and say “here’s to you, here’s to me, let’s make our bodies the effin’ best they can be!”

Sex, City, Fashion, and Female Friendship

As a huge fan of Sex and the City I was blown away by the first movie.  I laughed, cried, and generally spazzed out for 2 hours, to the chagrin of my not nearly as obsessed movie mates.  At the end credits of SATC 1 I was bawling my eyes out, thinking – nay moaning for all to hear that this was it.  It’s all over.  I will never be able to see new scenes of my 4 favorite New Yorkers again.  For 2 years I watched old episodes, reliving some of my favorite moments with Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda, and Carrie over and over again.  Break up by post it, the I Love You cookie, a registry for a single girl, a lost diaphragm.  The sex, the love, the breakups, and of course the fashion.  The first time i saw the trailer for the SATC 2 film i was giddy with excitement, and never had a moments thought that the 2nd film wouldn’t be as great as the first.  All i was afraid of was that they would break up Carrie and Big.  SATC 2 didn’t have the drama of the first movie and that’s ok.  It was more like an extended episode, but with bigger and splashier moments.  All the key elements were there, from the opening music on it was all the best that SATC has always offered.  SATC is about so many things but the main theme has always been the friendship between 4 ladies who, while very different in everything from their jobs to their taste in men, share what we all share.  They are strong powerful women who are awesome on their own (and with each other) but at the end of the day are looking for love.  My favorite scenes are when Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda sit down to eat together.  Be it brunch or a midnight nosh here is where they share, laugh, crack jokes at each other’s expense, dispense advise, and just love each other’s company.  I have related to and learned a lot from this franchise and will always be a fan.  Now i’m going to wait with baited breath for SATC 3 and hope to laugh and cry with these women until they’re sitting around a nursing home. I imagine being pushed in a wheelchair by a hot young aid because they refuse to take off their Manolo’s (they could get stolen you know!).

Vegan Spotted!

As a vegan sometimes it’s tough to find food that i can eat.  So in the spirit of Gossip Girl email me when you spot something vegan and i’ll share it with my readers!  Send in info and pics of food, drinks, events, clothes, whatever you think a vegan would be stoked to know about.  Email vanchick@shaw.ca

For example:

Spotted!  Vegan cookies at the Starbucks on Robson St

The Great “No Container” Challenge of 2010 – Have I Lost Already?!?!

It’s up to Josie but I want you vote!

Here are the facts:

Yesterday Jenn txt’d to say she was going to go get takeout, did i want to join?

I was at home when the text came through

When we got to the restaurant (Noodle Box….mmmmm) and i realized what was about to happen i made Jenn pay so i wasn’t to blame

I thought about adding vegan potstickers to the order but didn’t, because it would be another container

I wore the takeout box as a hat the rest of the evening so that it wouldn’t have been used in vain

The hat thing was not true.

Again, Josie will make the final call, but maybe you could sway her…….

Booze at the Dentist and Other Fine Ideas

This is about things that annoy me.  One should not dwell on the negative but there is something to be said for cathartic release.

Of course tights as pants annoy me.  I don’t know if you are aware but i feel pretty strongly that tights are not pants.  However, i must admit, if all of a sudden this ridiculous fad ends i will miss saying “look, someone forgot their pants” behind girls backs.  That would be sad.

Last week Yandi asked me to mention the way dates are written and how annoying it is.  Everyone writes dates differently.  I like a good old 01Apr10 (my birthday!) as it’s pretty obvious what is the day, month, and year.  I thought, ok, that’s kind of annoying but bloggable?  Then i pulled a bag of chips out of the recesses of my cupboard last night with the date 09/07/10.  What the fuck does that mean?  The 9th of July 2010?  Yay i can eat them!  The 7th of September 2010?  Even better!  But wait, they are chips and have been in there since who knows when.  That date could easily be the 10th of July 2009 and blam, i have food poisoning.  Annoying.  When i rule the world everyone must write dates as day/month/year.  It just makes sense.  To me.

The other day Josie and i  had a nail appointment.  We showed up on time and waited 5 minutes before someone said “it’ll be another 10” (which BTW, it wasn’t, it was more like 20).  This REALLY annoys me because it’s such an easy fix.  How hard is it to say “I’m sorry.  We’re running late.  We’ll be with you in another 10 min.  Thank you for waiting.”???????  Not that hard.  Also if you have to wait for an appointment you should get booze.

It annoys me when i run out of toilet paper.  Again, such an easy fix.  Why can’t i make an effort to buy toilet paper with, like, 3 rolls left instead of 1/2 of 1?  Also i should put a bottle of booze in the cupboard so that when i run out of toilet paper at least i can relax and have a drink.

NON VEGAN NON-DAIRY CHEESE!  Arrrrrrg!  What is the effing point of non-dairy cheese that is not vegan?  Who is eating it?  Lactose intolerant people?  Nope, they are popping pills in order to eat the real stuff.  I’ll tell you whose eating it, new vegans who don’t read the label assuming that non-dairy cheese has NO MILK PRODUCTS IN IT.  And it’s bad enough in the stores but at restaurants it is especially annoying.  Yes Steamrollers, i am talking to you.

People not commenting also annoys me, so comment bitches!

My Hands Smell Like Basil and My House is Sparkly….Radical

Tonight’s dinner?  One of my faves, Kitchen Sink Spaghetti.  That’s where you take everything in your fridge that needs to be used, add it to diced tomatoes, and serve on spaghetti, nice!  Tonight this included peppers, artichoke hearts, zucchini, and the best part – fresh basil and cilantro.  Top it all of with the best vegan cheese around, Daiya,  and you have yourself a yumtastic dinner and unwasted food!

**according to my spellcheck, yumtastic and unwasted are not words.  whatev.

Why is my house sparkly?  Is it because i got off my ass and cleaned?  Nope, it’s cuz i stayed on my ass and hired someone to do it for me.  Because that’s how i roll.  Next will be a makeup artist and hair stylist who will do me up in the morning as i drink my coffee…ahhhhh.  Anyway i highly recommend hiring a cleaner and here’s why:

  • my place is spotless and i didn’t spend hours cleaning
  • it’s super ass fun to come home to a clean apartment, it’s like magic
  • it motivates me to keep the place tidy all week long

If you are looking for someone professional and friendly who uses all natural products and charges a reasonable fee email Heather from Healthy Habitats. You won’t be sorry 🙂

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