Fat. Not as in Phat. As in Fat.

So i am not a skinny bitch.  I am vegan, and sometimes i am a bitch, but i am not skinny.  I also don’t think that i’m fat.  But am i?  So sad really, that i have no idea if i classify as fat.  I know that on the BMI i classify as “healthy” and on the COSMO i classify as obese.  So which is the truth?  Does it matter?  What i want to think is that it only matters how i feel.  Who cares what the scale says, or what my pant size says.  It really is arbitrary.  What if we woke up tomorrow and size 2 was re-sized as 10?  Would the person wearing the size 2 feel or look any different?  But how can i even know what i feel?  i think i feel healthy but i also know i wish i looked smaller and therefore my stress levels are up and i cannot be at my optimal health.  AHHHH!

Ange and i were talking about losing weight.  I was complaining that i had been a vegan for a year and 7 months, and gluten free for 3 months and had not lost any weight.  “I eat pretty good!  It’s not like i suck back the diet cola and All Dressed chips!!!  I don’t even eat Tofutti Sour Cream all that often!!!  No fair!”  Ange reminded me that realistically the only way to lose weight is to take in less calories than you burn.  But like she said, that feels weird.  Eating less than what you really need to function…..hmm.  Maybe this makes sense for obese people who are putting their health at risk and need to take drastic measures to drop the pounds.  What about people who weigh in at “healthy” but just want to fit in, or fit in to those skinny jeans?

And my last thought on the subject.  You may not like it so feel free to comment away….

I am fat* because i’m single and i’m single because i’m fat*.  Coupled peeps are going to argue that you eat more and exersize less when you have a dude (does it work the same with a chick?) and so also struggle, but i am single and this is my blog, so there.


Because i am single i have to order a whole order of Pad Thai if i want to have a few bites to compliment my curry.  They won’t give me a single size.  So i end up eating more than i should and i stay …bigger than i would like*…. At a bigger than i would like* size i lack the confidence to approach dudes that i think i would have if i was smaller.  And here’s the part i might catch shit with, but i think it’s true……

…unless they know you they gravitate towards the skinny (or less big) chicks.  There i said it.

And that’s the conundrum i am living in.  Perhaps the answer is to eat less Pad Thai.  Perhaps it’s to not give a shit (because aparently that is also what brings all the boys to the yard).  If i knew, or anyone knew, there would be less of a market on chick lit, and who wants to live in that world?

*’Fat’ packs more of a punch than ‘bigger than i would like’.  That’s why.


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jodi
    Aug 05, 2010 @ 12:44:27

    Remember, you don’t need to take in less calories than you need to function to create a calorie deficit, you just need to burn more while still eating a healthy amount of calories. A lot of people don’t recommend just trimming down your calories because you risk training your metabolism to go into starvation mode and store calories as fat.

    p.s. you’re not fat. :p


    • vanchick
      Aug 05, 2010 @ 15:18:39

      1 point for team not fat, take that COSMO! lol Thanks Jodi 🙂

      Regarding calories, i agree you need to do more and burn more but you are still taking in less than what it takes to do what you’re doing. Ja know? It’s early, i have had 1 sip of java, and it’s possible i make no sense… 🙂


  2. Jenn
    Aug 05, 2010 @ 15:49:06

    I totally sympathize with you cause I am also in the ‘bigger than I would like’ to be category:(
    It can be super frustrating. I’m not even sure what to suggest because I feel like I’ve tried it all and all I can do is maintain. Keep eating healthy and try to burn more calories – keep that heart rate up!
    (And yer not fat – cosmo is a biatch). xo


  3. vanchick
    Aug 05, 2010 @ 15:58:38

    Cosmo is a biatch! lol


  4. Melissa
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 11:43:40

    What’s wrong with Diet Cola and All Dress chips??? Jeez – you guys are SO judgemental! LOL 🙂


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