The Thought Process Behind: Somewhat Tipsilly Putting a Screen Protector on My Phone, By Accident

Whilste cleaning the kitchen,  before the house cleaner comes.

“Where’s the Ikea bag closer thingee?”

“Junk drawer!”

“I should really put this screen protector on my phone, it’s been sitting in the junk drawer for ages and meanwhile my phone could get scratched!” <– i have been subconsciously trying to destroy my iPhone in the hopes of having to buy a new iPhone 4.  This has included dropping into a tiolet and onto pavement several times.

“Shoot, eek, that’s not right.  Fuck, shit, that’s not working”

“I should not be doing this after 1/2  bottle of wine”

“he he he” <– he he he!

“Goddamn it, the sticker that is supposed to help me affix this screen protector to the phone is stuck to the screen protector, that’s dumb”

“Didn’t i buy matte, not glossy?” <– this is the key…..

“Fuck it, i have another one, i bought two!”

“i am so smart!”

Here is where i throw the “glossy” screen protector with the sticker stuck to it away.

“Waaaaiiiiit aminute.  I’ll wait until tomorrow to do this, when i am not kind of tipsy!”

“i am so smart!”

“dumb de dumb” <– continuing to clean kitchen, you know, so the house cleaner doesn’t think (know) i suck at domesticity.  I then pick up phone to txt the boy when…..

“Waaaaiiiit aminute….there is now a screen protector on my phone….”

“?????”

“What the???”

this is what comes up when you type "what the" into Google and click images. Seriously.

Here is where i deduce that while trying to affix the “glossy” cover that protects the actual screen protector I managed to actually affix said screen protector.

With me?

“i am so smart!”

….and i wish i could draw as rad as Allie so you could have had a visual.  Sigh.

 

“Whoot!”

Vegan MoFo Mo Fo’s!

Ok all you radical Mo Fo’s, it’s not just Movember, it’s also VEGAN MONTH OF FOOD!  Otherwise known as Vegan MoFo!

I feel bad for not posting anything about this until now, so to make me feel better please make yourself a vegan dish tonight.  Or tomorrow night.  I promise you won’t be sad like me, you’ll be happy, like double rainbow guy!  Ok, maybe not that happy.  And yes, i am obsessed.  How could i not be?

To get you started on making me (and you!) happy, here are some of my most favoritist of all time vegan (and sometimes gluten friendly) dishes!  Enjoy!

Vegan Mac and “Cheese”! Yup, i make this at least once a week, seriously.  I have tried other recipes but this one is the best, hands down (or up!  Big Ups!).  Thanks Chelsea of Flavorvegan!  I know if you are a vegetarian or an omnivore you will be all, WTF?!?  I’m not eating that!  But i beg of you, give it a go!  Although not the same as traditional mac and cheese (my mom makes the best) this is good stuff.  I promise.

Vegan Veggie Lasagna!  Mmmmm!  I love this lasagna and would eat it every day if i could.  Use rice noodles to make it GF and add Daiya for some oooohey goooooheyness!

No Roll Enchiladas!  I seriously love me some mexican food!  Especially from La Taqueria or Banditas but if i am cooking at home this is a go to recipe fo sho.

The Best Lentil Loaf!  3 out of 3 non vegans i fed this to found it mad delish!  Rock it out with smashed potots (using Earth Balance and non dairy milk of course!) and some vegan gravy.

Coconut, Corn, and Black Bean Soup! Vegan Yum Yum does it again (special thanks to Chic Vegan for the heads up!)  Spoon over quinoa (keeeeeeen-waaaaaah) for a seriously healthy, protein packed, TASTY as F**** (sorry kids), dinner that makes enough for lunch and dinner the next day!

Spicy African Peanut Soup! The first time Ange and i made this we were in ecstasy.  Literally.  With bread and butter this soup is the bomb!

These are all pretty hearty meals, so don’t forget the good old, easy as pie (which isn’t really easy at all yo), tasty stir fries!  Add your fave veg (and then get wild and add some veg you have never heard of!) to some yumtastic sauce, scoop over rice or quinoa (keeeeeeeeen-waaaaaaaah) and voila!  Easy, tasty, and good for you.

Oh!  And Salad!  Can’t forget the salad!  Thanks to one of my fave boys i can now branch out from my BIG SALAD (all (and i mean ALL) of my fave salad veggies over greens, topped with balsamic and oil) obsession and into some more sophisticated recipes.

Hail to the Kale Salad! OMG i loooooooove this salad.  I craaaaaave this salad.  Think it’s not possible to crave salad?  I dare you to say that after you try this baby.  Yum.  Making some tonight.  Salavating as a type.

Oh My Ya, Papaya! Salad. I made up that name.  It does not come from the internet, it comes from a recipe card.  I don’t have the recipe card with me so you will have to wait and make Hail to the Kale for now.  Lucky you!

So those are some of my fave recipes online but i also have my go to cookbooks which are messy and dirty and well loved.  Nothing like cooking from a cookbook!  Check out Sarah Kramer and Isa Chandra Moskowitz to get started.

And if you’re not cooking then just pop over to Jenn’s house, she is the bestest vegan cook in the world! And i loves her 🙂

Oh, don’t know Jenn?  How sad.  Maybe one day you will but until then make due with some rad vegan restaurants! And THIS JUST INProvence now has a veggie/vegan set menu!  Nice!

Whew…..i pretty much just blogged in one day what i blogged all of last month!  Wow!  Time to hit the real world and go pick up the ingredients for that kale salad!

Movember!

I don’t know about you but i personally LOVE Movember!!!   It brings awareness to an important cause, of course…but mostly because of the kick ass mustaches popping up all over town!  I like to play this simple and fun game; Is that for Movember or all the time?  Game difficulty increases increasingly on Main St. Anyway, keep this fly tradition alive and support the cause by donating to my good friend Jason!

CLICK ME TO DONATE!

And when you are all done with that bit of great karma getting good times stop by Etsy for some super awesome mustache stuff!

Veggies and mustaches, 2 of my favorite things together at last!

Mustaches, not just for dudes and grannies any more!

Forget a milk mustache, go for the real deal!

What's this? Booze and mustaches? Another 2 of my favorite things together at last!


Best Way to Start a 4 Day Vacation? Smoothies and Booze!

Today is remembrance day, and also the day my best out of town peep and her fab fam are coming in for a wedding in Surrey!  Super stoked because it is going to be a weekend of family fun mixed in with some adult indulgence.  With some of my best besties!  So as if i wasn’t already jazzed enough about today and tomorrow and the next day, the 1st day and the last day will be and were pretty rad too.  Huh whu?  Yes, i need some more coffee.

Night before 4 day vacation:

Ethiopian food and Wii Sports!  Thanks be to Siobhan and Stephen for taking us to their fave Ethiopian restaurant, Fassil on Broadway.  This place knows Stephen by name and serves YUMMY food with a smile and a sense of pride.  I think it’s a husband and wife team that own this place (and serve and cook and bus) and you really feel like you have been invited into their home for some of their home countries specialties.  Also wonderful?!?  The squishy bread, injera, is made with teff flour and so is gluten free!  Whoot!  I always forget how filling injera is and so it was with a very full belly the gang of us went back to Siobhan’s and Stephen’s so that i could suck at Wii bowling and kick ass at Wii tennis (but not before i dropped my iPhone in a tiolet 😦 ).  All with a mustache on my Mii – you know, for Movember!

Day 1 of vacation:

BEST SMOOTHIE EVER, toast with PB and fancy jam,  and coffee with Kahlua!  Ok, so it’s been 3 days straight that i have been making this smoothie.  It is scrumptious and delicious (no, i don’t care that those mean the same thing) and healthy and easy and basically as milk shake you can have for breakfast and…well you know….

Almond Butter Banana Smoothie = RADICAL!

From the fantastical Happy Healthy Life blog, be sure to go on over there because the author, Kathy, has some great tips and info on this smoothie.

Easy Energy Almond Butter Banana Smoothie
vegan, serves 2

2 cups non-dairy milk, vanilla flavor
*soy or hemp pref’d
2 frozen bananas, ripe
2 Tbsp raw almond butter, not salted is pref’d
*fresh ground almond butter is best
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
1 Tbsp agave or maple syrup
1 cup ice
1/2 tsp cinnamon
optional: a few dashes of cayenne
garnish: roasted almonds

And if you are lucky enough to have a Vita-Mix blend for approximatly 30 freaking seconds!!  No kidding!

I also add protein (right now it’s hemp hearts), oil (Udo’s), and vitamin D to boost this breakfast into the stratosphere of nutritious and delicious!  It’s almost as amazing as a double rainbow.  Almost.

Ok, so now i have to get this teeny tiny apartment family ready!  Good day to you all!  Hopefully i’ll have time to post the rest of my vacation shenanigans later!

Quick and Easy….just how i like my…..Soups.

So it seems that every time i make a soup i think it’s the best soup ever.  And that’s ok.

Today’s BEST SOUP EVER (!!) is not only the best soup ever but also the easiest soup ever.  Seriously.  No chopping except if you wanna.  And it’s brought to you buy Vegan Yum Yum (yum!) via Chic Vegan ….otherwise known as “Why doesn’t my blog look as pretty as that?” … perhaps one day…


 

Coconut, Corn and Black Bean Soup

The picture on Vegan Yum Yum is 100X better….but the iPhone does not bad!

Coconut, Corn, and Black Bean Soup
Makes 4 lunch sized portions (or 1 Van Chick sized dinner and 1 Van Chick sized lunch serving**)

**Van Chick’s comments in italics

2 Cans Black Beans
1 Cup Pureed Stewed Tomatoes – Hooray for new Vita-Mix!  Pureed those tomots in .5 seconds!
1/2 Cup Coconut Milk
1 Vegetable Bullion Cube – I use Better Than Bullion..mmmm
1 Cup Frozen Corn
1 tsp Smoked Paprika (please actually use the smoked kind!) – I think mine was smoked…smelled smoky.
1/4 tsp Kosher Salt – or pink Himalayan salt!  Or whatever you have!
1 tsp of your favorite herb(s) – my favorite herb rhymes is FrillantroAnd here’s where the chop if you wanna comes in.

Add both cans of beans with their liquid to a heavy soup pot. Add the tomatoes, coconut milk, bullion cube, and paprika. Simmer for at least 20 minutes, but it can cook on low, covered, for much longer if needed. A few minutes before serving, add the corn. Garnish with some fresh herbs, if available, and/or a splash of coconut milk.

You may consider adding shredded carrot, fresh baby spinach, pasta, rice, lentils, or even a diced potato if you feel like jazzing it up a bit. It’s a very versatile soup, and I find it refreshing change from the vegetable broth and tomato based soups I usually make.

I made some quinoa (keeeeen-waaaaaah) in my rice cooker (miracle!) with “chicken” flavored Better Than Bullion (used the veggie flavor in the soup) and the poured the soup over that.  And, since i like crunch (almost as much as i like sauce) i added a garnish of blue corn tortilla chipsMMMMMMM!  The one and only change i would make is to not add any salt as the bullion is salty enough as is.