31 is the New 33 is the New 37.

AKA Shots Shots Shots Shots….Everybody!

Where have i been?  in love.  i know, so cliche, but alas it is true.  I have been so enamored and inebriated with the new BF (not so new anymore)  that any inspiration went straight into my conversations with him, and not into this blog.  I’m ok with that, it’s all ebb and flow, yo.

Tonight tho, i spent with Ange, just two chicks on the town….and my oh my, we felt OLD.  Yup, at the ages of 31 and 33 we felt out of place and yet, not ready to give up the ghost, as we watched a band perform at a downtown Vancouver (Granville St) club.  It was all we could talk about!  Everyone was straight out of high school!!  Could they see how old we were as clearly as we could see how young they were??  As we walked home (at what time i’m not sure, but what i can tell you is: it is currently 12:14am and i have 1) went grocery shopping for breakfast in the morning 2) got into my PJ’s 3) emailed my account manager at my bank and 4) checked and commented on quite a few statuses on FB) we deduced I was the tween and Ange was teen of real adults.  We came up with a bullet proof theory, that only slightly tipsy people would understand….Relative age according to shots.  Do at least one and follow along.  At 31 i knew we shouldn’t do shots…but i still instigated it (see previous sentence).  At 33 Ange knew she shouldn’t do shots, but she still accepted them.  We also knew, from real life example (JBJ and the BF), that this would last until about 36 and then….at 37, we’d be real adults.  We would finally, mostly, say no to shots.  In the meantime though, we almost got tattoos, of mustaches on our fingers…and that’s all that matters.


And i thought people who wore snuggies didn’t have sex…..

At least i’m still right about gay people not owning snuggies nor having sex in them.  Phew.

**Brought to you by lame posts that attempt to make Jenn and Ange happy.  Sorry to the other 2 people who read this blog.

Fuck Yeah! It’s My Birthday!

If you know me you know i love my birthday.  i LOVE my birthday.  No, seriously, it’s insane.  i LOVE my birthday the way sane people love puppies or their children.

This nutty love affair starts as a gentle hum in January, pretty much after the hubub of JC’s Birthday…..

and the Current Years Birthday have passed.  This gentle hum gets louder and louder until the beginning of March when i am beside myself with happiness that it is ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY!!!!  In fact, these are the exact words i exclaim, over and over, to and at my friends, family and coworkers for the next 4 weeks.  The only time when this outward display of giddiness over….myself…..seems inappropriate is on other people’s birthdays.

So why do i get so excited over my birthday?  Is it the fact that i ditch work for a spa day?  That i have pie and boozy coffee for breakfast?  That there is always a party where i get to see most of my besties?  Well the last one is the closest.  A few years ago i had my birthday at a restaurant were food and cheer overflowed and i was overcome with love …not just for myself….but for the people who make my life so worth celebrating.  That’s what it is, why i love my birthday so much.  i love my life and the reasons i love my life are the people i share it with.

Would i enjoy or even do half of the things i enjoy and do without my friends and family?  Burlesque fest without several pairs of boobs to stick a carrot in?  Fringe without Frunks?  India without Car 3?  Skid night without my skids?  LMFAO without…..LMFAO?  Giggling without my girls?  And obviously cuddling and sex have been a wee bit better this year 😉

There have been so many fanfuckingtastic moments this year that i can’t even begin to remember them all now….but over the years memories and jokes and moments will remind me, and us of the life we have led together.  Jumping (and farting) on beds in Seattle, Hornby Island…the good and the cookie, Say Wha??!?, “Hey Hey Ho Ho Factory Farmings Gots to Go!”, LA Zombie?!?  The killer tire was better, “Here’s to honor”, Drunksgiving!  Weddings and baby showers.  Birthdays and brunches.  Dinners and drinks.  Plays and concerts, Canucks games and comedy shows.  Pedicures.

Thank you to everyone who have shared April 1st 2010 – March 31st 2011 and all of my 31 years with me.  It’s because of how rad all of you are that i’m so stoked…


Here is where i wanted to insert a photo of me cheerzing you but i don’t have a good one!  Don’t get me wrong…there are plenty of photos of me with booze…but i’m either drinking it or have just spilled it on myself…..oh well, i’ll just have to say it.

Cheers!  I Loves you!


feel free to remind me of rad times in the comments…remember, i’m writing this on several ounces of kahlua and coffee flavored tequila….with only pie (did i mention 2 kinds?) to soak it up…yup, it’s 11:51am and i’m a wee bit tipsy!

If I Could Have a Superpower It Would Be…

psychically determining if an avocado is good or not.

Seriously!  Is it not the ultimate disappointment to find out the avocado that seemed so perfectly squishy yet firm is in fact all mushy and brown inside???  Does it not make your heart sing to open an avacado and find a perfectly green and easily cuttable interior?  And on the same token does it not break your heart to think an avocado is ripe and ready and instead find the dead and hopeless remains of an avocado past its due date?

I rest my case.

Warning! New Zodiac Can Make You a Douche Bag!

So apparently there is a possibility everything we know and believe in is bunk.  I’m not talking the existence of Christ, i’m talking whether or not your compatible with your boyfriendAstrology. I’m not here however to discuss the new sign, i’m writing for a much more important reason.  Forget about becoming a serpent holder or whatever the eff the 13th sign is, watch out for becoming a jerk to your friends!

Conversation i had today with 2 of my best girl friends:

Van Chick: “There is no way i’m a pussy water sign like Pisces”
C: “Yeah, Pisces are said to be loners….”
J: “Fuck you guys, i’m a Pisces!”

Oops. But proof the new zodiac is bunk.  Here is a description of Pisces:

Imaginative and sensitive
Compassionate and kind
Selfless and unworldly
Intuitive and sympathetic
Escapist and idealistic
Secretive and vague
Weak-willed and easily led

And now Aries:

Adventurous and energetic
Pioneering and courageous
Enthusiastic and confident
Dynamic and quick-witted
Selfish and quick-tempered
Impulsive and impatient
Foolhardy and daredevil

A sensitive Pisces would never have inadvertently called her friend a pussy.  This was obviously the work of an impulsive Aries.

Anyway, here are the new signs, what do you think?

Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18- May 13
Taurus: May 13- June 21
Gemini: June 21- July 20
Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20

Just had to share…..

I saw this note on the now closed The Corner Suite Bistro De Luxe window last Saturday morning:

it just made me so sad to think of someone, who had risked everything to try their dream have it fail.  I know it happens all the time but that didn’t make this any less heatbreaking.  I never patronized (is that the right word for this context?) Bistro De Luxe as it didn’t really have much in the way of vegan menu items but i had once emailed them (i think they were on a Groupon or the like) and the woman who answered was lovely and said that if we gave advance notice the chef would do his best, nice!  Also i loved their decor and the morning sign outside trying to entice you in for breakfast or espresso always made me smile.

On Monday morning i saw this taped up next to the first note:

and it almost made me cry.  Even though the owners could not make it work, they were loved and appreciated for what they did do in their community.  Maybe they’ll take what they’ve learned and give it another go one day.

Anyway, that’s it, just wanted to share something that made me feel sad and happy and hopeful, when usually mornings just make me feel rushed and cranky 🙂

Peace out peeps.


I don’t know about you but i personally LOVE Movember!!!   It brings awareness to an important cause, of course…but mostly because of the kick ass mustaches popping up all over town!  I like to play this simple and fun game; Is that for Movember or all the time?  Game difficulty increases increasingly on Main St. Anyway, keep this fly tradition alive and support the cause by donating to my good friend Jason!


And when you are all done with that bit of great karma getting good times stop by Etsy for some super awesome mustache stuff!

Veggies and mustaches, 2 of my favorite things together at last!

Mustaches, not just for dudes and grannies any more!

Forget a milk mustache, go for the real deal!

What's this? Booze and mustaches? Another 2 of my favorite things together at last!

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